These cosmetics are as natural as the sea.

Mermaid #1: Guess it was only a matter of time.

Mermaid #2: Can't be. No human can be as pretty as we are.

Mermaid #1: They can now. It's that Paula Parenzano, the one who worked for Bobbi Brown in the early days. She looks all sweet in her Venice Beach bungalow, but the way she's giving away our siren beauty secrets, we'll be out of a job.

Mermaid #2: Who'd think a human would guess kelp?

Mermaid #1: Well, she did, and now, her Lip Pearls glosses are there for anyone to grab at Whole Foods. The names give them away: Wave, Sea Shell, Sea Coral, Abalone...

Mermaid #2: But she must've ruined them with the typical human stuff--petroleum, mineral oil, fake colors, formaldehyde?

Mermaid #1: Nope. They're so natural they're edible. She even subbed a coconut derivative for that nasty plasticizer, polybutane. No other human has managed that.

Mermaid #2: At least we've got our eye makeup.

Mermaid #1: Hers comes out this month. No talc, won't flake, made of plants and sea minerals.

Mermaid #2: What's the catch?

Mermaid #1: Only the handsome sailors, when they see how this stuff looks.

Parenzano Cosmetics, (310) 392-5615